Changing Your Life

[livingdeb]

This weekend Robin got his copy of the Hal Hartley movie "Amateur" and we watched it again. It's another one of those where a guy wakes up with amnesia and has to figure stuff out. As in "The Bourne Identity," he discovers he has some unusual skills. Other characters include a porn actress trying to change her life, an ex-nun trying to get into the porn-writing industry, an accountant trying to get away from bad guys, and bad guys. It's not really about porn or even about bad guys, it's more about changing your life, like the amnesiac thriller "Regarding Henry."

In an extra, the director said that the movie was about how you can never escape your past, even if you don't remember it. In the movie, the character gets treated differently than most people by those who do remember him, which certainly makes things difficult. But I don't want to agree with the director here.

We are all aware of the difference between deciding you want to make a change in your life and actually doing it. It's not so easy to quit smoking, lose weight, reduce your debt, etc. I think there can be many steps, the first of which do not result in anything seeming different. For example, some steps toward stopping shoplifting might be:

1. decide to stop
2. shoplift again anyway, then remember later that you had decided to stop
3. shoplift, then remember as soon as you get home that you had decided to stop
4. shoplift, then remember while walking out the door
5. remember, while picking up the item, that you were going to stop, but take it anyway
6. remember, while picking up the item, that you were going to stop, and put it back
7. remember before even picking up the item
8. no longer think in terms of shoplifting

In this example, the first five steps do not result in a reduction of criminal activity, but I would argue that progress is being made. And once the person has stopped stealing, then I agree with Hal Hartley that there are still consequences that make this person different from someone who has never stolen. Someone could notice evidence after the fact. Or an old criminal record can make job hunting difficult. Or the person may no longer be allowed in certain stores where they have been caught stealign in the past. But I think that with time, the ex-thief's life can become more and more like a non-thief's life as the person lives longer and longer without stealing.

So, if you think that change just isn't worth it, that you can't get away from your past, I'd like to say that it might get easier.

Quote for the day: "Good judgment comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgment." - Cousin Woodman, snatched from Kiss My Grits