Note of the Living Deb

Dianne Hales' An Invitation To Health: Live It Now has a whole chapter on social health. I found this quote to be very interesting:

"Compared to straight couples, gay and lesbian couples use more affection and humor when they bring up a disagreement and remain more positive after a disagreement. They also display less belligerence, domineering, and fear with each other than straight couples do. When they argue, they are better able to sooth each other, so they show fewer signs of psychological arousal, such as an elevated heart rate or sweaty palms, than heterosexual couples." (p. 94)

I would not have guessed that. And now I am enjoying theorizing about why that is.

More affection and humor

I wonder if one reason same-sex couples show more affection and humor is that they are united against a common foe: homophobia.

I don't mind not sharing this trait. I even manage to get a fair amount of affection and humor anyway, even we don't really have any foes.

Less belligerence, domineering, and fear

I guess our culture has a long history of male dominance over women in marriage such that belligerence (male), domineering (male), and fear (female) fit those stereotypes. So maybe when you're in a same-sex couple, you are less likely to rely on these kinds of stereotypes (certainly it's not as clear who would get the male role and who would get the female role), so they might be more likely to have to make decisions based on what they're actually like instead of what society says someone of their gender, and their partner's gender, should be like.

Fortunately, I have not dated guys who are belligerent or domineering, so I think I escape this problem.

Better able to soothe each other

I'm wondering if they are better able to sooth each other because they are more similar in some ways. Same-sex couples are made of people with more similar kinds of hormone levels, body issues, and sex parts than opposite-sex couples. It has been shown that couples who are similar to each other on other traits tend to do better than couples that are opposites, so this makes some sense, too.

In sum, I'm glad to hear that same-sex couples have some advantages over opposite-sex couples (on average). It makes things just a tiny bit more fair.

Job hunting update

Target has politely let me know via e-mail that they are unable to offer me a position at this time. They did not need to interview me to make this decision.

Ugh, job hunting. Nevermind. Uncle! I'm done with that.

Robin's job hunt has gotten me thinking about job hunting mantras. Here are some of mine.

Don't Stop to Admire Your Work

I first learned this one playing ultimate frisbee. After making a pass, you want to see how far it goes and if the disc gets caught (by the person you were aiming for), but it's not good just standing there admiring your work. You should continue running toward the action.

Then I found this also applies to ballroom dancing. When the leader raises his arm to lead the turn, he can't just stand there watching his partner make the turn--he needs to keep dancing on the beat, perhaps adjusting his position, and definitely also figuring out what to do next.

And in job hunting, it's very tempting to wait around to hear back when you apply for a really good job. But it's best to take a few notes in case they call you back, and then move on looking for and applying for new jobs.

Some people say that even when you have a job, you should continue keeping your resume polished, your LinkedIn profile updated, and your contacts fresh because you never know what's going to happen.

Don't Judge the Job Based on HR

I first learned this about advertizing. It's pretty easy to realize that ads have very little to do with whatever they're advertizing. Sometimes they even claim that a product's worse feature is it's best feature. (Example: "Ryder. We're there when you need us." Unless someone making a long-distance move wants the truck you've reserved for a short-distance move.) Generally the advertisers are from some other company that knows very little about the reality of the company they're working with and cares even less. It's not a good idea to judge a whole company by their commercials.

Similarly, it's easy to get frustrated or annoyed with HR, but it's generally not a good idea to judge a whole company, let alone the specific atmosphere in the area where you're applying for a job, by what HR is like. I find there's basically no correlation (except in tiny companies where, for example, HR is perhaps just one of your future boss's many job duties).

They Might Not Know What They Want

I used to apply for jobs only when I had the requested qualifications; certainly the required qualifications.

Wrong answer.

I saw someone get hired at my last employer who did not have one of the required qualifications (at least a Master's degree), even though I know that the application process there required signing a statement that you meet all the required qualifications. I'm pretty sure they weren't looking for a liar, but based on the applications they received, he looked the best anyway.

Therefore, if you want the job and think you could be good at it, apply for it. Similarly, if you can't tell whether you'd like it, apply for it to find out more. Applying is not accepting.

Better Odds than Playing the Lottery

The odds seem pretty horrible when you're job hunting. Certainly when I'm job hunting. But the odds are still better than playing the lottery. Okay, that's not reassuring at all, but it's something I couldn't help thinking recently.

I found this fiction book by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows on the library's for-sale rack. The title looked interesting and the back cover promised a "smart and delightful novel" with "characters so utterly wonderful that I kept forgetting they weren't my actual friends and neighbors." So I picked it up and started reading.

It's (almost) entirely a collection of letters. The writing is quite fun and made me laugh. From page 7:

"Dear Sophie,

"Of course I'd adore to see you, but I am a soul-less, will-less automaton. I have been ordered by Sidney to Bath, Colchester, Leeds, and several other garden spots I can't recall at the moment, and I can't just slither off to Scotland instead. Sidney's brow would lower--his eyes would narrow--he would stalk. You know how nerve-racking it is when Sidney stalks."

It's also a celebration of books and reading. From page 9:

"Dear Miss Ashton,

"My name is Dawsey Adams, and I live on my farm in St. Martin's Parish on Guernsey[, an island in the English Channel]. I know of you because I have an old book that once belonged to you--the Selected Essays of Elia, by an author whose name in real life was Charles Lamb. Your name and address were written inside the front cover.

"I will speak plain--I love Charles Lamb. My own book says Selected, so I wondered if that meant he had written other things to choose from? These are the pieces I want to read, and though the Germans are gone now, there aren't any bookshops left on Guernsey.

"I want to ask a kindness of you. Could you send me the name and address of a bookshop in London? I would like to order more of Charles Lamb's writing by post. ...

"Charles Lamb made me laugh during the German Occupation, especially when he wrote about the roast pig. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society came into being because of a roast pig we had to keep secret from the German soldiers, so I feel a kinship to Mr. Lamb."

And that is how I got sucked into a book about World War II. It's set just after WWII, so there's hope in the world again. All in all, it makes me laugh more than cry.

The book is also a romance. I know who I want the protagonist to like, and I am sure long before she is, which is annoying.

After reading half the book, I bought it, brought it home, and finished reading it. I'm not yet sure if I'll want to read it over and over again--it got into more serious issues in the second third of the book. Then the very end was the romance taking too long, but that was interspersed with a bunch of plot twists, so it wasn't just frustrating.

One interesting part is how different people respond to being thrust into a book club. For most people it's a good thing; for some, not. I hadn't actually read most of the works discussed; if I read this multiple times, I may end up checking out some of those very old works.

As an older best-seller, it's widely available in libraries--Deb-Bob says, "Check it out!" (Literally, even.)

Warning: apparently the main author wrote only this one book before she died (the second author finished it up after the first one got sick), so if you love it, this is not also an invitation to an additional pile of books to check out.

**

In job hunting news, today I was asked to give permission for a background check and to provide a salary history back through my job with the Registrar's Office, which turned out to be four salaries plus one salary range.

So I went to the tax prep place today. The first thing I noticed is that it is now open starting at 8 am. I had wanted to work 8 - 12, but since my supervisor had said they opened at 9, I decided I would work 1 - 5.

The second thing I noticed is that at 8:45 there was almost no one there. Those who were there said that my supervisor was not expected in today. One person was going to send her an e-mail, but I said I'd send one myself.

So I did. And I got a very quick response (warning: second paragraph hurts--feel free to skip):

"I thought you got lost in the abyss! I never heard back and I tried contacting you several times.

"Unknown about the issue that your speaking of, last I new is that you were still pending a background check. I will contact my District Operations Management about your case and get back with you"

I'm not sure how she tried contacting me several times since I did not get a single phone call or e-mail message. As for the second paragraph, I suppose people who can't write also need jobs. At least I understood it.

And she immediately forwarded me the reply she received. However, she had only told her contact some of the information, and the reply was to help me get my access, which I already have. So I explained all that to my supervisor. Since then, it's been radio silence.

**

In other news, I hiked to my credit union, which is something I have refrained from doing in the past because it's two miles away. But I decided a nice hike before the weather got cold would be good and I was right. But the check I deposited was over 90 days old and therefore expired; we'll see if it takes. Maybe I should have called for a new check; I wasn't realizing that I was risking fees.

I also tried a new recipe for coconut oat muffins because I was given a large bag of toasted coconut a while back. The muffins are pretty tasty but a little dry, so Robin and I have decided that the addition of applesauce might help next time.

After the first interview and some additional research, I know a lot more about what the job is actually like.

The Flags

First a brief overview of the "skills and experience flags," affectionately known as the "Six Flags over Texas." The Committee of 125, a group of local businesspersons meeting to give advice to the university on its 125th anniversary, recommended that all students should have these six skills, and they should be taught as part of their major courses, not as separate mix-and-match courses:

Writing - Students should do a significant amount of writing and get instruction on writing (involving critiques of rough drafts, ideally by other students as well as the instructor). They should have three courses with this flag (and one course with each of the other flags). (We had already been requiring two courses with a "substantial writing component" to make sure that even in this big university, students had some writing practice.)

Quantitative Reasoning - Students should learn how to apply math calculations to real-world situations.

Ethics and [Ethical] Leadership - Students should study ethics as it relates to real-world situations.

Global Cultures - Students should learn something about another culture.

Cultural diversity - Students should learn about underrepresented populations in the US as well.

Independent inquiry - Students should explore something on their own, such as by doing their own research project or other sort of creation.

The Staff

Five people are in charge of flags. Three are people with PhDs who are in charge of one or four of the flags and take care of the faculty-facing part of the job. (One focuses on Writing, one on Independent Inquiry, and the other takes the rest.) They try to convince faculty to incorporate flags into their courses and they teach faculty about best practices in teaching that content and are otherwise available for answering questions and giving advice.

One person is in charge of working with course schedulers across the departments and with the Office of the Registrar to make sure that all the flag courses that are offered are properly labeled. She also does lots of other administrative stuff. For example, she is the one who had to find a time when everyone would be available for the second and third interviews.

And the person in the job I'm applying for handles the student-facing part of the job. She advises students on what the flags are and how best to fulfill those requirements within their own majors (as do their advisors in their own majors). Since courses taken elsewhere do not have these flags, students can petition to count their study-abroad courses and other transfer courses toward these requirements. The person in this position helps them see whether that is even necessary or whether they still need a required course that is always taught with that flag. And they help them fill out the form and find the best possible course to petition. This person can also approve or deny petitions and, if she's not sure, contact the appropriate PhD staff member to help decide. She is also the one who works with advisors--she goes to advising meetings, runs workshops on the flags so advisors can better understand when to encourage their students to petition a course, and stuff like that. And she also works with the degree audit coders (woo hoo! my old chickadees!)--she codes the requirements and does the overrides for all approved petitions.

Actually, there's also a sixth person in charge of several programs, one of which is this flags program, and that is the person who interviewed me. She actually implemented the flags program, does the hiring and firing, and keeps everything working as well as possible.

The Next Interviews

My next interviews are at 2:00 and 3:00 this Wednesday. The 2:00 interview is with the three faculty contacts. I will ask them a bunch of questions about what kinds of courses do and don't fulfill the requirements of their respective flags.

The 3:00 interview is with three other staff members. One is the administrative person who set up the interview.

One is a person who does similar things with "core courses" (the ones that are required for everyone earning an undergraduate degree, such as two literature courses, one math course, three science courses, one creative arts course, etc.). She is the one I have worked with before and who is my reference.

And the third is another person with the same HR job title as the Flag Petitions Coordinator (Associate Academic Advisor), but she works with one of the other programs under the auspices of the woman who did my first interview.

It makes sense to ask them how they would interact with whomever is hired, but they will probably tell me most of that themselves when they introduce themselves to me. So I suppose I can ask things like what they like most about their jobs and what they are most hoping for from the new person. And maybe advice they would have for the new person.

Searching

Last night I decided it would be good to find my portfolio to use for my interview. First I looked a few places near my desk--and found a mouse and cord to an old computer I'm getting rid of. As I carried it to the give-away pile, I wondered to myself--is this just the beginning of a huge montage of finding stuff I'm not actually looking for?

No, my portfolio was in the next place I looked--I remembered that I'd put it next to the phone to take messages in.

The Interview

The interview went fairly well. She explained so many things that she covered about half my questions. I wasn't all that great at answering her questions. (I eventually came out with a new answer to the dreaded "what's your worst quality?" sort of question--I can't think of anything that applies to this job. Like I'm not good at sales, but although it's good to explain what's good about "flags" (those traits that some courses have to have), there's no pressure to get people to buy things they don't want.) But then I asked a nice pile of questions that did give her an idea of what I'm like.

I didn't resort to the revenge question I had thought up--if this job were a fruit, which fruit would it be? (Actually, I thought of an even better one I can no longer remember--it was similarly useless but with a really annoying follow-up question.)

I remembered to ask about the next step. She has interviews today and plans to bring in two candidates to meet with a committee of five people (all of whom she had talked about during the interview). She wants to get the new person started very quickly.

Other Campus Job

I stopped by my old bosses' office again on my way home to tell her again that I'd been overpaid and ask if she might want me again. (She reserved me for 20 hours/week for this month but has not needed me, but might be about to hire a new person who she'd like me to train.)

This time she was in her office. So the plan is that she is going to officially end my appointment at the end of last month so that I don't get any more paychecks. And the new person will start on the 21st, so I can pay back those extra 12 hours I paid for by training her.

Other Job

I have not heard anything from my tax prep boss, but I did get a copy of the requested "credit report." Actually it just showed that my Social Security number was wrong. And who's Social Security number that was. They didn't show the whole number (or even the part that's different from mine), but they did show the name(s) of the person whose number that is and I remember what my typo was. Crazy--that name is none of my business.

I got an e-mail from an old co-worker telling me about a new job opening. I had seen that opening but thought I'd remembered that it had one of those impossible job duties. Plus I already have a job. Plus I'd be qualified for my pension in only one year, and it seems rude to leave that soon, though some people do.

But then I remembered about deciding to go for jobs where people actually want me. And I still haven't been told the exact location of the required training that is happening right now for that job I currently have.

So I wrote to another colleague in the same college as where the job opening is and asked her if she thought I would be a good match for that job. She said, "Yes! I don't know why I didn't think about it. I am not sure if I will have any say in who gets hired, but I can certainly put in some REALLY good words for you. They are closing it today (maybe before 5-not sure) so apply quickly."

And I thought that however impossible any job duties are, they will be impossible for anyone who has them. And I don't have to leave after only one year. And even if I do, I will make sure to have an awesome job manual ready for the next person. And it's only 30 hours per week, so I could still do some work for my current employer and I could still help the colleges on the side if they needed me.

The pay is super low ($15.38/hour) but that's 50% more than I'm making now (or actually, not making now since I'm missing the training) and it's negotiable. And I wouldn't have to eat into my Roth IRA at all and could probably even grow it again.

So I applied. It's really hard to do a whole application in one day because of proofreading/molten brain issues, but I took an early lunch break to give my brain a rest plus my second contact looked over an early draft and gave me a piece of advice.

However, I didn't finish in time to go to the office of my current job and see if people were meeting there. Oh, well.

As usual, I really think I could get this job. But, unlike all the other jobs I applied for, the person doing the hiring knows one of my references (the one I quoted above).

This job is even harder to describe than my job as degree audit specialist. It is Flag Petitions Coordinator, another bureaucratic job. It's part hanging around in committees trying to approve courses for certain new-ish university-wide requirements. And it's part boring updates - doing overrides to the degree audits of students who use other courses (such as transfer courses) to fulfill those requirements, letting the students and their advisors know when you've finished, and keeping track of the updates in a database. I actually know enough that I could probably take initiative in several areas right away like adding fields to the database, begging colleges to submit good-sounding courses to the approval system, and being a liaison between bigwigs who decide things and college staff who have to implement these things.

One interesting thing I learned in tax prep class today (while awaiting late-comers) is that cranberry juice is a natural antidote to PCP, which was used as a date-rape drug in the 1970s. When you don't get retrograde amnesia, it's easier to testify. And that's how a weight-loss diet based on cranberry juice was the key to the first date-rape conviction.

Our instructor, who is also a forensic toxicologist, also warned us that, unlike on TV, crime lab staff are sometimes criminals themselves. So this is one reason that, if you do get pulled over for DWI, you should not agree to be tested. But if there's no getting around that, ask for the blood test instead of the breathalyzer test because then at least there is leftover blood that can be re-tested later by a third party. There is so much pressure to prosecute DWIs these days that the labs will sometimes lie. In one recent case, the person was driving crazy because she had escaped a rape after being fed a date-rape drug. She got a rape-kit test at a hospital, and even those results were lied about, though finally this all came out.

**

Quote of the Day - "Must play three hours of video games to cleanse myself." - me, after working on an application for a job helping students do things like apply for graduation.

Part of the application included some questions that I really didn't get:

How long have you worked with Macintosh computers? (More than 2 years / 1 to 2 years / Less than 1 year / No experience with Macs) - How hard is it to learn this? A typing test is already required.

Do you have knowledge of [employer] policies and procedures? (Yes / No) - How do I answer this? Of course I have some such knowledge. But I don't have much of the knowledge they want. And that stuff keeps changing anyway. And shouldn't they be training the person? Of course I said "Yes." I don't really get the point of this question, though.

Do you have experience working with college students in an academic setting? (Yes / No) - I consider classrooms and tutoring tables to be academic settings; that's not even what they want. This job is in a dean's office, admittedly on a college campus.

What kind of doof-balls have they hired in the past that make them want to ask these kinds of questions?

They do claim to prefer someone with a degree in the fine arts, so maybe they are confused about whether they want a left-brained or right-brained sort of person. So maybe that gets them into trouble?

I clearly think/work too hard on these things. But I don't know any other way to do them.