How Not To Do Your Job
Aug. 25th, 2020 09:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
livingdebSorry, but I am super angry about how a bunch of people are "doing" their jobs right now, especially certain high-pay, high-level jobs.
This never happened to me at work:
Boss: Debbie, why did you move that professor's test to be photocopied for tomorrow from the IN box to the OUT box without actually making the copies?
Me: I didn't.
Boss: I just watched you do it!
And so I never got to make any of these replies:
* No, you didn't. That's fake news/a conspiracy/a witch hunt.
* No, you were the one who moved it. Hey, everyone, our boss hid the photocopying job so that it would never get done!
* From where you are standing, it may look like that's what I did, but what you couldn't see from there was the dangerous paper clip. I feared for my life.
* I did that but it wasn't my idea. And now that you've shown your displeasure, I'm still going to just leave it there in the OUT box. Don't worry, all the photocopying jobs will get done in plenty of time.
* I am in charge of the photocopying room, so I have the power to block copying jobs that I don't think are good for this university. As a natural sciences major, I will block every request for liberal arts classes, no matter how many people are in those classes, even if those classes are required for the degree.
* Photocopying should be privatized. And, um, I bought those stocks in Kinko's before I accepted and started sabotaging this job. Also, I never talk to the people at Kinko's about what we do here, though I do talk to them a lot because they are my best friends.
* You act as if there is going to be a test tomorrow. If that turns out to be true, and there is no evidence of that, tests are a natural part of school, so we don't need to worry about them.
* Taxpayer dollars should not be spent on classes that are prerequisites, only for real classes.
* I may never have seen a photocopier before, nor even know what a paper jam is (huh, I thought jam was only made with fruit), but I have copied off my classmates' homework enough times that I think I know how to copy tests.
* That request was for two hundred copies, one for every single student in the class! No one needs that many copies, you socialist left-wing extremist.
* I'm giving it back to the professor to make two copies. Then she will give those to two more people who will each make two copies. Eventually, the total number of copies needed will trickle down to the classroom.
* Maybe the paper needed for that photocopying job is now missing, and that exact same amount of paper is in my desk at home, but I did nothing wrong.
* Who cares? No matter what I do, my union won't let you fire me. Or my contract has a golden parachute clause, so I'm rich either way.
This never happened to me at work:
Boss: Debbie, why did you move that professor's test to be photocopied for tomorrow from the IN box to the OUT box without actually making the copies?
Me: I didn't.
Boss: I just watched you do it!
And so I never got to make any of these replies:
* No, you didn't. That's fake news/a conspiracy/a witch hunt.
* No, you were the one who moved it. Hey, everyone, our boss hid the photocopying job so that it would never get done!
* From where you are standing, it may look like that's what I did, but what you couldn't see from there was the dangerous paper clip. I feared for my life.
* I did that but it wasn't my idea. And now that you've shown your displeasure, I'm still going to just leave it there in the OUT box. Don't worry, all the photocopying jobs will get done in plenty of time.
* I am in charge of the photocopying room, so I have the power to block copying jobs that I don't think are good for this university. As a natural sciences major, I will block every request for liberal arts classes, no matter how many people are in those classes, even if those classes are required for the degree.
* Photocopying should be privatized. And, um, I bought those stocks in Kinko's before I accepted and started sabotaging this job. Also, I never talk to the people at Kinko's about what we do here, though I do talk to them a lot because they are my best friends.
* You act as if there is going to be a test tomorrow. If that turns out to be true, and there is no evidence of that, tests are a natural part of school, so we don't need to worry about them.
* Taxpayer dollars should not be spent on classes that are prerequisites, only for real classes.
* I may never have seen a photocopier before, nor even know what a paper jam is (huh, I thought jam was only made with fruit), but I have copied off my classmates' homework enough times that I think I know how to copy tests.
* That request was for two hundred copies, one for every single student in the class! No one needs that many copies, you socialist left-wing extremist.
* I'm giving it back to the professor to make two copies. Then she will give those to two more people who will each make two copies. Eventually, the total number of copies needed will trickle down to the classroom.
* Maybe the paper needed for that photocopying job is now missing, and that exact same amount of paper is in my desk at home, but I did nothing wrong.
* Who cares? No matter what I do, my union won't let you fire me. Or my contract has a golden parachute clause, so I'm rich either way.
*sympathy*
on 2020-08-28 03:48 pm (UTC)