How To Enjoy Housework
May. 21st, 2020 05:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
livingdebOkay, I am the opposite of an expert on this topic, but I'll share what I've figured and you can do the same. Because wouldn't enjoying things we have to do be good?
Obviously it's nice to have housework done. But I'm talking about the actual process. I'm hoping to learn to improve my intrinsic enjoyment.
But first, you can minimize the work you have to do. Don't have tchotchkes you don't even like when you have to dust them all the time. Keep things behind doors instead of just on shelves to protect from dust. (Yes, I like kitchen cabinets that go all the way up to the ceiling and I don't like open shelving in the kitchen.) Clean up right away when things are still wet. Have doormats and a shoe-free house for less sweeping and mopping. And when you are buying things, don't forget to consider the care requirements.
Intrinsic enjoyment
Embrace your inner control freak
Obviously, if you have any inner control freakishness, any enjoyment of making things neat and orderly, you can focus on that to make housework more fun. I have some inner control freak; it mostly works for vacuuming and lawn mowing where it feels satisfying to watch the messiness magically disappear. (We won't be talking about how vacuum cleaners and lawn mowers can be super fussy with, respectively, long hair and tough weeds.)
Enjoy instant results
A lot of things we do are long-term projects; you don't see results for a long time, if at all. But some housework gives you instant gratification. Specifically, I'm thinking of dusting.
Rebel
My old friend Jamie told me he used think he hated doing dishes, but then realized he actually enjoyed doing them, even though all of society's messages say that's crazy.
Focus on the good bits
After Jamie told me enjoyed doing dishes, I realized that when it's cold, I enjoy the excuse to stick my hands in hot water for a while, so I also can enjoy doing dishes.
Make things way easier than you're used to
I learned to make a bed with hospital corners. It's very neat and pretty. But my boyfriend doesn't like the sheet tucked in at all. At first I found this disturbing. But actually it's lovely to just spread out the sheet and comforter and fluff the pillows. So quick!
I used to hate unloading the dishwasher, especially the silverware. Sorry, Mom! I have no idea why. But now most of my dishes are either in stacks of all like items, so you just put the clean ones on top, or in decent-sized nests that are easy to deal with. And my kitchen is small, so putting things away is quick. Also, with no dishwasher, we just have a dish rack, which holds a lot fewer dishes than a dishwasher, so maybe that's part of the thrill.
Rinsing dishes (hello, oatmeal) if you're not doing them right away makes it much easier to deal with later. And for a lot of things, doing it often makes it much easier and more fun than waiting too long. (But then waiting too long makes the results more drastically satisfying, so there's that.)
Getting rid of clutter and finding a place for everything makes things much easier to clean.
Store things near where you use them. If you use some things in several places, maybe have duplicates.
Admire your work
Marie Kondo enjoys folding her clothes into tiny packages she can stand on end and "file" in drawers in rainbow color order. So pretty! I now sort of do this (in a lazier way) for shirts, socks, and undies. Wait, does this belong in the control-freak section? :-)
Use great tools and supplies
Great tools actually are a pleasure to work with. It's so much nicer to grate cheese with a cheese grater than with a dull knife. (Um, I learned to cook at camp.)
Enjoy mindfulness
And just when I've gotten tired of working on this post, I found Miser Mom's "Cleaning As Meditation," with another idea, this one for dealing with cleaning up cluttered spaces. "For each thing, I ask myself something along the lines of when would I use this? where would I look for it? What would trigger me wanting to use this? And then I try to put the object where it will serve me best." See her post for details, examples, and counterexamples.
Extrinsic enjoyment
Then if none of that works, maybe you can settle for extrinsic enjoyment.
Distract yourself
If you find something mindless, you can blast some music and sing and/or dance to that. I really enjoyed watching an ex-boyfriend mop while singing along to tunes such as "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik." Or this may be the one time of day when you have some time to yourself to think.
Get out your aggressions
I really hate weeding. So much. Murdering hundreds of thousands of life forms is not what I wanted to do when I grew up. Also, the soil around here is dense clay, so it can be difficult or even impossible to get plants out. Also, the weed plants often have nasty thorns, spikes, or burs, or are just asbestos-like. But I've heard it helps to pretend the weeds are specific bad guys that you don't have the power to fight in real life. Like when people put a picture of their evil boss on the bullseye for target practice. Doesn't work for me--I don't generally enjoy taking out aggressions, although once when I was really angry, I did jog faster than usual, so it's clearly a thing that could work for me.
Limit yourself
Tell yourself you only have to do the thing for a ridiculously short amount of time, and then when that time is up, you only keep going if you're in the groove. Otherwise, hey, 5 minutes is infinitely better than zero.
Get sociable
Make an appointment with your housemates to do housework at the same time. If you live alone, maybe do a barn-storming type thing where you take turns helping a friend and having the friend help you (when there's no pandemic, of course, unless it's the household you're double-bubbling with like in Canada).
Use deadlines and peer pressure
Have a lot of parties! Schedule a housewarming for two weeks after you move! Okay, this doesn't make it fun, it just makes it happen. Hopefully.
Reward yourself
Save something you want to do as a reward for finishing something you don't want to do. (I am way too spoiled to use this strategy much. Well, except for cooking--I get to eat something delicious, but not until I am done cooking it.)
Escape
And then there's the strategy of getting out of at least some of your housework. If you have extra money, you can hire some of it out. (If it seems like a terrible way to spend your money, it might make more sense to think of it as a stress-relief expense or some other nice-sounding category.)
If you have housemates, you can try to trade your least favorite activities with their least favorite, if you don't match, in which case at least rotating could help. If the housemates are kids, remember it's very important to train them in these valuable life skills! Of course it will take time and be more frustrating at first.
Obviously it's nice to have housework done. But I'm talking about the actual process. I'm hoping to learn to improve my intrinsic enjoyment.
But first, you can minimize the work you have to do. Don't have tchotchkes you don't even like when you have to dust them all the time. Keep things behind doors instead of just on shelves to protect from dust. (Yes, I like kitchen cabinets that go all the way up to the ceiling and I don't like open shelving in the kitchen.) Clean up right away when things are still wet. Have doormats and a shoe-free house for less sweeping and mopping. And when you are buying things, don't forget to consider the care requirements.
Intrinsic enjoyment
Embrace your inner control freak
Obviously, if you have any inner control freakishness, any enjoyment of making things neat and orderly, you can focus on that to make housework more fun. I have some inner control freak; it mostly works for vacuuming and lawn mowing where it feels satisfying to watch the messiness magically disappear. (We won't be talking about how vacuum cleaners and lawn mowers can be super fussy with, respectively, long hair and tough weeds.)
Enjoy instant results
A lot of things we do are long-term projects; you don't see results for a long time, if at all. But some housework gives you instant gratification. Specifically, I'm thinking of dusting.
Rebel
My old friend Jamie told me he used think he hated doing dishes, but then realized he actually enjoyed doing them, even though all of society's messages say that's crazy.
Focus on the good bits
After Jamie told me enjoyed doing dishes, I realized that when it's cold, I enjoy the excuse to stick my hands in hot water for a while, so I also can enjoy doing dishes.
Make things way easier than you're used to
I learned to make a bed with hospital corners. It's very neat and pretty. But my boyfriend doesn't like the sheet tucked in at all. At first I found this disturbing. But actually it's lovely to just spread out the sheet and comforter and fluff the pillows. So quick!
I used to hate unloading the dishwasher, especially the silverware. Sorry, Mom! I have no idea why. But now most of my dishes are either in stacks of all like items, so you just put the clean ones on top, or in decent-sized nests that are easy to deal with. And my kitchen is small, so putting things away is quick. Also, with no dishwasher, we just have a dish rack, which holds a lot fewer dishes than a dishwasher, so maybe that's part of the thrill.
Rinsing dishes (hello, oatmeal) if you're not doing them right away makes it much easier to deal with later. And for a lot of things, doing it often makes it much easier and more fun than waiting too long. (But then waiting too long makes the results more drastically satisfying, so there's that.)
Getting rid of clutter and finding a place for everything makes things much easier to clean.
Store things near where you use them. If you use some things in several places, maybe have duplicates.
Admire your work
Marie Kondo enjoys folding her clothes into tiny packages she can stand on end and "file" in drawers in rainbow color order. So pretty! I now sort of do this (in a lazier way) for shirts, socks, and undies. Wait, does this belong in the control-freak section? :-)
Use great tools and supplies
Great tools actually are a pleasure to work with. It's so much nicer to grate cheese with a cheese grater than with a dull knife. (Um, I learned to cook at camp.)
Enjoy mindfulness
And just when I've gotten tired of working on this post, I found Miser Mom's "Cleaning As Meditation," with another idea, this one for dealing with cleaning up cluttered spaces. "For each thing, I ask myself something along the lines of when would I use this? where would I look for it? What would trigger me wanting to use this? And then I try to put the object where it will serve me best." See her post for details, examples, and counterexamples.
Extrinsic enjoyment
Then if none of that works, maybe you can settle for extrinsic enjoyment.
Distract yourself
If you find something mindless, you can blast some music and sing and/or dance to that. I really enjoyed watching an ex-boyfriend mop while singing along to tunes such as "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik." Or this may be the one time of day when you have some time to yourself to think.
Get out your aggressions
I really hate weeding. So much. Murdering hundreds of thousands of life forms is not what I wanted to do when I grew up. Also, the soil around here is dense clay, so it can be difficult or even impossible to get plants out. Also, the weed plants often have nasty thorns, spikes, or burs, or are just asbestos-like. But I've heard it helps to pretend the weeds are specific bad guys that you don't have the power to fight in real life. Like when people put a picture of their evil boss on the bullseye for target practice. Doesn't work for me--I don't generally enjoy taking out aggressions, although once when I was really angry, I did jog faster than usual, so it's clearly a thing that could work for me.
Limit yourself
Tell yourself you only have to do the thing for a ridiculously short amount of time, and then when that time is up, you only keep going if you're in the groove. Otherwise, hey, 5 minutes is infinitely better than zero.
Get sociable
Make an appointment with your housemates to do housework at the same time. If you live alone, maybe do a barn-storming type thing where you take turns helping a friend and having the friend help you (when there's no pandemic, of course, unless it's the household you're double-bubbling with like in Canada).
Use deadlines and peer pressure
Have a lot of parties! Schedule a housewarming for two weeks after you move! Okay, this doesn't make it fun, it just makes it happen. Hopefully.
Reward yourself
Save something you want to do as a reward for finishing something you don't want to do. (I am way too spoiled to use this strategy much. Well, except for cooking--I get to eat something delicious, but not until I am done cooking it.)
Escape
And then there's the strategy of getting out of at least some of your housework. If you have extra money, you can hire some of it out. (If it seems like a terrible way to spend your money, it might make more sense to think of it as a stress-relief expense or some other nice-sounding category.)
If you have housemates, you can try to trade your least favorite activities with their least favorite, if you don't match, in which case at least rotating could help. If the housemates are kids, remember it's very important to train them in these valuable life skills! Of course it will take time and be more frustrating at first.
no subject
on 2020-05-22 01:09 pm (UTC)