On Public Restrooms

[livingdeb]

First of all, why are public rest rooms an issue? That's weird.

Second, what I think is the weird thing about public rest rooms is not what's in the news but that they are a thing which is still kind of "separate but equal" in modern times. Why do we even have that?

Our society is weird about nudity, yet it thinks people of the same sex should be allowed to be nude in public together in locker rooms. And share dorm rooms. And that same kind of thinking is probably involved in rest room philosophies. I mean, I guess some people re-arrange their clothing in rest rooms, so I guess it's similar. Plus men actually pee right out in the open. But I really don't see why we don't just have female-like rest rooms (stalls for everybody) and let everyone use them.

Third, I was realizing that I never notice anything about the other people in a public rest room with me except their locations. I am looking for a vacant sink at which to wash my hands, for example, so I really am noticing the spaces between the people. (I do the same thing on buses and can pass right by people I know without noticing them!)

One exception: My favorite restaurant has giant cardboard cut-outs of famous people and they put the male one in the female rest room and vice versa for some reason. I admit to panicking a bit when I saw a man in the rest room, but my first though was, "Oops, am I in the wrong rest room?"

And finally, I wish I could think of a good way to show solidarity with people who have to think about which rest room to use. When Nazis made Jews wear yellow stars, other people could wear yellow stars in solidarity. But I can't think of anything like that for this situation. Normally I can be quite creative, but it's just not coming to me.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Choose to use the men's restroom once in awhile? Or perhaps just join a group that supports our LGBTetc community and participate in some of their activities--petitions, protests, fund raisers...TP

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

I've also thought of t-shirts.

* Black Lives Matter (on the front). Gender doesn't (on the back). Except of course that your own gender matters to you, which is the whole point. And we're supposed to use the word sex instead of gender, even though sex has a different common meaning that jumps into people's heads.

* My gender does not concern you. Except that's negative and argumentative.

* Ask me my preferred pronoun. With a picture of a cute being with unclear gender like a teddy bear. Maybe the saying is on a pin the bear is wearing. Or I could wear the pin and it has a tiny picture of the bear. Hmm, maybe.

[indigo-rose99.livejournal.com]

T thinks the whole restroom thing is a fake issue, substituting for the real issue that many people want to crush the LGBT. *sigh* I hear his argument and it does make sense.

Because it also seems like a fake issue to me. And there are so many solutions to this non-issue! Many restaurants simply have all restrooms be for both genders. Or, as you said, design all restrooms like women's with many stalls. *shrug* I do like Rockwell Texas being rebels and refusing to pass a highly prejudicial ordinance. I swear I saw an email where a person asked a law enforcement representative for crimes taking place in bathrooms. There weren't any.

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

No, there aren't many. I don't want to think it's a fake issue, because I hate those, but I know the Planned Parenthood hate is a fake issue, so maybe he's right.

There's definitely a squick factor and I really wish everyone could just get over it. And/or admit that maybe their being squicked out is partly their own problem rather than someone else's. Especially since, in this case, the other people have to actually live with feeling/looking like the wrong gender, and the squicked out people only have to admit that the other people exist. It should be a much easier thing to deal with.

What's going on in there?

[jay williams (from livejournal.com)]

Oops, meant to comment a few days ago, but I'm behind in all my writing. This issue is like the voter ID one. It's been created largely as subterfuge for something else. Just as there is little voter fraud, bathroom policing is meant just to justify certain folks disdain for people who don't conform to mainstream sexual norms. I also think a little of it is from grumpy old white guys' concept of what takes place in bathrooms. I think they've come up with an idea of what happens in women's bathrooms from their adolescent days of reading Penthouse letters. To them,instead of people taking care of personal issues in private, they are absolutely sure that women go into these rooms to show off their private parts and engage in sexual exploits. So they think that kids will carelessly wander in and instead of seeing someone putting on lipstick, there will instead be anminororgy taking place. With luck, one of these days these grumpy old white guys will learn the truth as well as lose their unfounded prejudice and will leave this issue to personal choice. Of course, I'm not holding my breath.

Re: What's going on in there?

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

If so, they should write a law against orgies in public restrooms. Grrr!

No, I think it's just the squick factor. And instead of thinking, wow, how can people be so weird, doing some research, and finding out, or even closing their eyes and singing lalala, they are going jihad or something.

I like to think that as more people come out, more and more people who feel like this will realize that they are feeling this way about someone they know and maybe even like, respect, or admire. But it sure is hard to come out in front of people like this. And dangerous.