MST3000 and Cooking Shows

[livingdeb]

Today I watched a video on how to make Chocolate Espresso Pots du Creme without the sound. I found myself adding in silly narratives such as:

Pour a big bucket of cream in.

Then pour just a little more in. You can never have enough liquidy fats in your life.

This brown stuff is a delicacy. Admire it, but try not to slobber on your keyboard.

I am holding a large chocolate bar. But really, you should put in several bars. (I am going to be doing that off camera.)

Break the bar up into pieces. You don't have to break it down into individual squares, you can just leave two together. No, actually I can't stand to see the chocolate like that, so I have broken them down to single squares.

Actually, I will add just a few more squares of chocolate on camera.

That is the stove. This is a big toy for big men. You are not allowed; let me just bring this pot over to the counter where it's safe.

You can see that the chocolate doesn't mix well with the cream, but that's okay.

I have my magical wire whisk, though, so actually, this does work.

The only utensil you really need in life is a wire whisk. It's good for stirring. It's also good for scraping the sides of the bowl.

Now I'm pulling out a sieve to pour this through. It's totally unnecessary, but hey, I don't have to do my own dishes, so why not?

Now, as you can see, I did have money for a second utensil. I could have gotten a rubber spatula, but instead, I got another wire whisk. Yeah, baby.

I have lined this pan with a beautiful cloth. This helps make a comfy nest for my cute little yellow cups. If you take care of your little cups, they will take care of your creme.

You must pour exactly the right amount into each little cup. Note how the levels of chocolate match perfectly.

Oops, a drop landed on the edge of one of the cups. I will have to lick that off, off-camera. Make sure you hold this pan until it's done dripping before moving on to the next little cup.

As you can see, I screwed up and have to put a little more batter into the cups.

Wait, were the cameras rolling when I licked my finger? You weren't supposed to see that.

Other people pour water around the cups instead of nestling them between the folds of fabric. Oh, wait, I do too.

That oven is for the big boys, but I still don't trust you to get near it. Let's just say that I am man enough to put this in the oven myself.

You can find out if it's ready by jiggling the dish. The puddings should wiggle but not squirt when you poke at them, just like the breasts of non-lactating women.

Now that we're done, there is room to add even more cream and more chocolate. These are natural and organic, so they are totally healthy.

Blog entry of the day - The Happiness Project's Five Tips for Getting a Little Kid to Take No for an Answer - "I realized that although she doesn’t want to hear “no,” my daughter responds very well to certain kinds of explanations. While “It’s not healthy,” “We don’t have time,” and “I don’t want to buy that” don’t work very well, other justifications for saying “no” are more effective:"

#2 is the funniest and #4 is my favorite for most usable. I've actually used #2 on myself--when I go into an expensive place, sometimes I tell myself to pretend it's a museum. I admire all the pretty and interesting things, show my friend(s) my favorites, and then move on.

I also noticed a similar thing at work. It's easier to keep them from saying "no" to me if I use this phrase: "It's a data integrity issue."

(Warning: link contains untruths which I do not endorse or condone. That doesn't mean they're not funny.)

Comic strip of the day - xkcd's Cover-Up - this one also made me laugh.

Programming update - I have decided to switch to a different recommended book I found, SAMS Teach Yourself Beginning Programming in 24 Hours. "In just 24 lessons of one hour or less, [I] will get a thorough introduction to computer programming and learn to write simple programs in Basic and Java using the tools provided on the CD-ROM." Actually, I won't be using that CD-ROM because it's for Windows and I have a Mac. Otherwise, this sounds more like what I'm looking for, knowledge that's intended to be generalizable. Also, this book is from my public library which means I have "only" three weeks before I have to renew as opposed to the entire semester I have at my workplace, so there's another excuse for focussing exclusively on it for a while.

Although more than 24 hours have gone by since I got the book, I am not yet a programmer. However, I have completed six chapters and the chapters really did take less than an hour each, even though I'm taking notes. I feel that I will, in fact, be able to finish this book, probably after renewing the book only once. I am on a mission!

After that, I may focus on Java again (useful, though not used by my employer) or I may focus on Javascript instead (maybe more fun, though it's just a scripting language) or maybe both. Currently, my main goal is to prepare for the trainee job at my employer (though I just read an article stating that the entire system is going to institute hiring freezes). My other goal is to remember that programming is supposed to be fun and to try to have fun.

Comments

[pamwheatfree.livejournal.com]

That was really funny. I haven't added dialogue in ages. Yours makes sense for a cooking show. You probably even got most of the dialogue correct. I would watch that show.

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. I got most of the dialog wrong. (I watched again with sound later.) For example, he didn't try to hide licking his finger at all, but actually looked into the camera and said, "Yum!" Most especially I was wrong about the sieve. He did have a reason for using it: to strain out anything that may have coagulated. And he even claimed, "I cleaned up a bit," implying that maybe he is in charge of cleaning that sieve after all.

The only things I was right about were some of the ingredients and that they were organic.