I won't be suing.
Jan. 2nd, 2009 08:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
livingdebIt all started when I misread the 10-for-a-dollar sale on instant pudding mix. They were actually 10 for $10, which I would never pay, because don't those cost fifty cents? Not anymore or not for the name brand; regular price is $1.19 at this store (where I hardly ever go because of their high prices, but it's really close, so if you factor in gas, the prices aren't that high if I'm just needing one or two things).
So I decided that I would use one of my jogging sessions to return my package of pudding. So, I carried it with me in a little fabric bag.
Then I tripped over an elevation change in the sidewalk when I was distracted by a barking dog. The dog wasn't even barking at me, and I was trying to figure out what the dog was barking at, but I couldn't.
You know how sometimes when you're falling, you can sort of outrun the fall, so that your feet catch up to your head and you don't have to fall over? Well, it looked like I was going to be able to do that. But I wasn't after all.
I landed on two hands, one elbow and one hip for extremely minimal damage. I didn't break the skin or damage my clothes and I didn't even have the wind knocked out of me like last time.
But guess what my left hand landed on. My pudding. It was crushed into an unappealing new shape, thus severely reducing its resale value. Dang! Foiled again! I decided not to try to get my money back after all.
Since this is America, I should of course sue the folks who owned the dog that distracted me. And I would sue them for $1.00. No, actually, I can still make the pudding and was willing to spend $0.10, so I would sue them for ninety cents Actually, I should sue the city, too, because of its dangerous sidewalk. So that's forty-five cents each. Plus, you know, lawyer costs, etc.
So I decided that I would use one of my jogging sessions to return my package of pudding. So, I carried it with me in a little fabric bag.
Then I tripped over an elevation change in the sidewalk when I was distracted by a barking dog. The dog wasn't even barking at me, and I was trying to figure out what the dog was barking at, but I couldn't.
You know how sometimes when you're falling, you can sort of outrun the fall, so that your feet catch up to your head and you don't have to fall over? Well, it looked like I was going to be able to do that. But I wasn't after all.
I landed on two hands, one elbow and one hip for extremely minimal damage. I didn't break the skin or damage my clothes and I didn't even have the wind knocked out of me like last time.
But guess what my left hand landed on. My pudding. It was crushed into an unappealing new shape, thus severely reducing its resale value. Dang! Foiled again! I decided not to try to get my money back after all.
Since this is America, I should of course sue the folks who owned the dog that distracted me. And I would sue them for $1.00. No, actually, I can still make the pudding and was willing to spend $0.10, so I would sue them for ninety cents Actually, I should sue the city, too, because of its dangerous sidewalk. So that's forty-five cents each. Plus, you know, lawyer costs, etc.