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On Schadenfreude
Dec. 21st, 2022 12:46 pmMany people like the word "schadenfreude" because it helps explain that good feeling you get when something bad happens to a bad person. Except I looked it up and it actually means enjoying the misfortune of others, not just people who deserve it. Yikes!
Although wikipedia (read 12/21/22) says that justice is one of the three driving forces behind this emotion (the other two being aggression and rivalry).
I want to talk about just the phenomenon of feeling pleasure at the misfortunes of bad people. After really thinking about it, I've decided I don't actually want them to have misfortunes--I want them to change into better people. I would much rather learn about people escaping their own racism or even just reducing their environmental destruction than learning that bad karma happened to them.
And laughing at their troubles does not actually help them become better people. It just brings us down a little. And it ignores all of their good deeds and divides us from people who admire those.
I do want lies exposed and I do want people who hurt others to be stopped. I am also for them being convicted of their crimes and given appropriate punishments (ideally they repair the damage and pay extra, but whatever is in the law books will have to do). But what I feel when this happens is more like relief than joy.
Which is not to say that I am immune. I do feel bursts of pleasure at this kind of news. And then I remind myself that this isn't really what I want.
And lately, I've even been fantasizing about various types of possible bad news that could happen. I guess it's similar to my feelings about revenge. I oppose it. It doesn't help anyone. Yet it is quite fun to fantasize about. And I think fantasizing about revenge helps us work through our feelings. So long as we don't actually act on the fantasy or encourage anyone else to.
And now I should resist telling you my latest fantasy. Rather than telling you as an illustration of my point.
P.S. The wikipedia article also has this sad quote: "There is no common English term for pleasure at another's happiness." People make do with the made-up term "freudenfreude." Oh, this is me, too. I will, for example, cheer for the other team when they do something awesome. Why get angry, when you can get amazed?
I can't say I'm never envious or jealous, but I then talk myself out of it. I know that I actually like life best when I'm surrounded by people who are better than me. (Except for feeling a little like a social parasite. But hey, people do like being appreciated.) And then I can copy some of their awesomeness and be better myself, too.
Although wikipedia (read 12/21/22) says that justice is one of the three driving forces behind this emotion (the other two being aggression and rivalry).
I want to talk about just the phenomenon of feeling pleasure at the misfortunes of bad people. After really thinking about it, I've decided I don't actually want them to have misfortunes--I want them to change into better people. I would much rather learn about people escaping their own racism or even just reducing their environmental destruction than learning that bad karma happened to them.
And laughing at their troubles does not actually help them become better people. It just brings us down a little. And it ignores all of their good deeds and divides us from people who admire those.
I do want lies exposed and I do want people who hurt others to be stopped. I am also for them being convicted of their crimes and given appropriate punishments (ideally they repair the damage and pay extra, but whatever is in the law books will have to do). But what I feel when this happens is more like relief than joy.
Which is not to say that I am immune. I do feel bursts of pleasure at this kind of news. And then I remind myself that this isn't really what I want.
And lately, I've even been fantasizing about various types of possible bad news that could happen. I guess it's similar to my feelings about revenge. I oppose it. It doesn't help anyone. Yet it is quite fun to fantasize about. And I think fantasizing about revenge helps us work through our feelings. So long as we don't actually act on the fantasy or encourage anyone else to.
And now I should resist telling you my latest fantasy. Rather than telling you as an illustration of my point.
P.S. The wikipedia article also has this sad quote: "There is no common English term for pleasure at another's happiness." People make do with the made-up term "freudenfreude." Oh, this is me, too. I will, for example, cheer for the other team when they do something awesome. Why get angry, when you can get amazed?
I can't say I'm never envious or jealous, but I then talk myself out of it. I know that I actually like life best when I'm surrounded by people who are better than me. (Except for feeling a little like a social parasite. But hey, people do like being appreciated.) And then I can copy some of their awesomeness and be better myself, too.