Election Emotions

Every single one of the idiotic amendments passed (although one that lengthened the terms for regional mobility authorities from two years to six years didn't). We continue to resolve local disputes with constitutional amendments and now we are restricting rights. It's one thing to feel that our politicians are corrupt, but to feel that the majority of our citizens are imbeciles is, in a democracy, disconcerting at best.

Not only that, but proposition 2, meant to ban gay marriage, passed in every single county in the state except mine. Texas is a big state, with something like 235 counties. It's hard to imagine that this amendment could have passed in every single other county. I suddenly feel surrounded by hostile forces.

First I wanted to cry for a long time.

Then I wanted to refuse to ever get married, in protest. Who wants a piece of that if it's only for people who are lucky enough to fall in love with the "right" gender? I'll just live in sin forever. That'll show 'em.

(Although since I don't want kids, I don't suppose I'm really human anyway.)

Then I wanted to start grabbing other females and kissing them in public. In Dallas. In a mall. No, in front of a church. No, in a church. One of these churches where you shake hands with everybody at the end? I surround myself with females and start kissing them.

Of course none of these things would help. Revenge only exacerbates conflict. It's probably much easier to tolerate gay people if they are safely closeted, just like it is easier to tolerate smart people when they are safely locked away in their little cubicles, inventing cool things for you to buy, but only as workaholics, not as people trying to interact with you.

I am trying not to feel vengeful, but I can't help feeling saddened and disgusted and vulnerable.

Nano Update, day 9

The election is yet another good reason to have my novel set pre-9/11.

So far I have written 1572 words today, which is almost a good average and which keeps me almost caught up (still scheduled to finish November 30). That took me almost two hours, not counting the over two hours since then during which I have been trying to think of another idea, and also getting distracted. Since I won't have any time tomorrow and had an afternoon and an evening today, I should have done a double set of work. It could still happen, I suppose.

Today I learned that it might not be the best idea to write while lying in bed with one's eyes closed, although it is possible with a laptop computer and touch typing skills. It's so tempting, though!

I started writing ideas in a tiny spiral notebook today. I wrote three, two of which I used. The other has nothing to do with anything that could be in the story anytime soon, but I keep looking longingly at the notebook anyway.

The good news is that I actually enjoy reading today's writing for a change. Here is an example:

"At work we had to sit through one of those sexual harassment workshops. What a waste of time."

"I know. After those classes, I always want to start complimenting everyone on their clothing. 'Oh Roland! Those are some really nice slacks you have on. I enjoy admiring them every time you walk by.'

"And then I also want to go around informing people that I am offended by everything. 'Heather, did you get that memo I left in your box?' 'Yes, but I would appreciate it if you would stop using the term 'box' in my presence. It makes me feel uncomfortable.'

"'Um, okay, sure. But are you going to be able to do it?' 'You know, I'd really appreciate it if you would stop using the phrase 'do it' in the workplace. It makes me feel uncomfortable.'"

People talk about beginners having trouble attributing dialog. They tend to use too many near synonyms for "said" and too many adjectives. If I were like that, I might have ended the four paragraphs above with, respectively, "Bubba sighed, eye-rollingly," "Heather gleefully described," "Heather giggled," and "she continued with deadpan humor." I seem to have the opposite problem. I almost never attribute any quote to anyone. Because it's so obvious! To me, anyway. While I'm writing it anyway. You'd think I would at least do something for the sake of word count this month. But I feel that would interrupt the flow of my writing, and that these things should be added later, when I can easily see what's confusing.

In other news, I started a new thread in the nanowrimo forums. I wonder if any of the replies will give me ideas.

Edited to add that there will be a Murder-in-the-Dark party in my novel. Just setting it up has brought me up to a total of 2478 words in 2 hours 40 minutes. I am now officially totally caught up and scheduled to finish November 29. My next writing session should go fairly smoothly as I throw in some of the best moments from games I've played.