Advice on References

[livingdeb]

Today my boss asked me why I haven't been using him as a reference. I said I felt it was rude to ask him to encourage someone to hire me out from under him.

He said that people all across campus know him and they will be thinking that if I am afraid of listing my boss as a reference, especially if it's him, they won't be able to help thinking that something must be wrong with me.

I'm not so sure everyone would know who my boss was on seeing my resume, but he made it very clear that he would love being my reference. And after all these years I have convinced myself that he is not the sort to pretend something like that in order to get a better chance to make me look bad or anything, so I'm going to start listing him.

It seems really odd, but the three other people I asked were all gushing even more about how they'd love to be a reference for me. I don't even want to be a reference for me, why would someone else? I mean, how do you really know how well someone else will do in some job?

Comments

[indigo-rose99.livejournal.com]

I don't want to be a reference because it sounds like work. I cannot imagine why doing so would be a pleasure. Weird.

Maybe they are being insanely polite?

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

I don't think I have the social skills to tell the difference. Normally my philosophy is that if someone insists on being "insanely polite" instead of truthful, and then I ignorantly take them up on it, that's their problem, not mine. (At least in general US culture--obviously I wouldn't act like this in places where their idea of the "Your Mama..." game is to compliment each other or offer each other things to more and more staggering heights.)

But that philosophy is maybe less helpful when the people are offering you things that are important and that require them to have been truthful. Nah--they would just keep being insanely polite on the phone, right?

references

[tamaraster.livejournal.com]

Being a reference doesn't sound like a lot of work to me. If I had the chance to help someone I liked and/or respected get a great new job, I'd jump at it!

And doing well in a particular job is, IMO, more about the person than it is about the job. I mean, assuming it's not something you're completely not qualified for (like doing a kidney transplant). I wouldn't hesitate to recommend someone I thought did good work in one job for a new, different job.

Re: references

[(Anonymous)]

(sally)

My immediate response to this is basically the same as Tam's. Having been a reference for an ex-coworker, I don't think it's that much work - you basically just answer some questions and they're not super tricky ones - and you get the opportunity to do a good turn for someone you would like to see get a new job, be successful, etc. Of course you can't guarantee that the person will thrive in the new position and be everything the employer wants them to be - there are too many variables involved to come close to doing that - but fortunately, they don't really expect you to. You mostly tell the prospective employer about the person's characteristics and verify that they aren't totally lying when they said they had this experience/did this kind of job (if you are in a position to know). As I understand it, by the time the employer is contacting references, the person is generally a finalist for the position, so the employer has determined that their background and knowledge make them a reasonable match for the job. At this point, they think the candidate is qualified for the job, so it seems they are just trying to either choose between several people on the basis of references' assessments of personality traits that are pretty universally applicable in the business world (e.g. if you thought he was a hard worker and a problem solver in your experience, that's likely to transfer even in a different job) or to make sure that their preferred candidate doesn't have a problem that will show up in a reference check.

Re: references

[livingdeb.livejournal.com]

Thanks, you guys. This actually makes sense now!

Re: references

[indigo-rose99.livejournal.com]

You guys are very lucky. Every time I have ever agreed to be a reference, it required immediately writing a letter. Further, it was never an easy letter -- my friends were always trying for jobs that required skills and knowledge I had no idea if they had or not!

I would be more than happy to answer a few questions over the phone. That is an easy and positive favor to do a friend. That has never been an option.

The tough part of the letter is trying desperately to come up with more than 3 eloquent polite sentences that are both positive and truthful.

"John seems like a nice person to me. I am sure he would do a good job for you. Though I have never actually seen him do that job, or any job like it."

"Mark is a good gamesmaster. He plans and documents games very well. But since he cannot seem to pay his bills on time, that probably does not expand to other parts of his life."

"Mary always wears very high heels. She is very knowledgeable on where to buy very attractive shoes. Do not expect her to walk very far."

(these are not actual samples)