Foofy Restaurant
Mar. 16th, 2013 08:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
livingdebRobin just showed me pictures from The French Laundry, widely regarded as the best restaurant in the world. Let me just say it does not look like my thing. It is wrong that I now think it would be hilarious to serve Robin twelve courses of three bites, each on a very large plate, as a joke. What would my courses be? Maybe these:
1. One mini cheddar jalapeno cornbread muffin - or - banana nut muffin with whipped butter on the side
2. A fruit plate made of one strawberry, one blackberry, two blueberries, a dollop of whipped cream, and a large shaving of dark chocolate.
3. A dish that looks like tiny wedges of iceberg lettuce with bleu cheese dressing, only it's made of brussels sprouts sliced in half and then sauteed in olive oil.
4. Tomato basil soup with a single crouton - or - matzoh ball soup with a single miniature matzoh ball (Actually, that's sounding too high class to be properly funny. Maybe it should be ramen noodles from a package, dressed up with a couple of raw ramen noodles or a couple of spicy peanuts on top.)
5. A grilled cheese sandwich made with that small thinly-sliced party bread, ham, gruyere, and pesto. There would be an edible flower on the side.
6. Frito pie - I've been told I must have three fritos if the dish really has three bites; these will be off to the side so they don't get soggy - or - Tuna biscuit bake - a small biscuit with a cheesy tuna sauce over the top
7. Woah, that was heavy - time for two red bell pepper strips standing in a small dish of hummus
8. Cheeseburger slider with one fried pickle slice
9. Three slices of corn dog artfully arranged next to a dollop of mustard - or - pig in a blanket
10. Chicken finger with a single French fry propped up against it
11. Small raspberry popsicle - or - banana pudding (a single vanilla wafer with three banana slices and vanilla pudding)
12. A small cup of hot chocolate with a dollop of whipped cream and dash of chocolate syrup (or chocolate sprinkles) (this should be coffee, but I don't like coffee)
I did get a little too distracted about wanting to use foods I like to make this maximally funny - there's no crappy beer and I almost had one of the dishes be a banana chocolate chip pancake. And what's with the fabulous muffin when that should be a saltine cracker with a couple of goldfish crackers swimming nearby? And dessert should be two different varieties of Oreo (perhaps one covered in white chocolate and one with green or orange filling)--no, it should be a half a Twinkie, set up on end, with a drizzle of raspberry sauce on the side.
1. One mini cheddar jalapeno cornbread muffin - or - banana nut muffin with whipped butter on the side
2. A fruit plate made of one strawberry, one blackberry, two blueberries, a dollop of whipped cream, and a large shaving of dark chocolate.
3. A dish that looks like tiny wedges of iceberg lettuce with bleu cheese dressing, only it's made of brussels sprouts sliced in half and then sauteed in olive oil.
4. Tomato basil soup with a single crouton - or - matzoh ball soup with a single miniature matzoh ball (Actually, that's sounding too high class to be properly funny. Maybe it should be ramen noodles from a package, dressed up with a couple of raw ramen noodles or a couple of spicy peanuts on top.)
5. A grilled cheese sandwich made with that small thinly-sliced party bread, ham, gruyere, and pesto. There would be an edible flower on the side.
6. Frito pie - I've been told I must have three fritos if the dish really has three bites; these will be off to the side so they don't get soggy - or - Tuna biscuit bake - a small biscuit with a cheesy tuna sauce over the top
7. Woah, that was heavy - time for two red bell pepper strips standing in a small dish of hummus
8. Cheeseburger slider with one fried pickle slice
9. Three slices of corn dog artfully arranged next to a dollop of mustard - or - pig in a blanket
10. Chicken finger with a single French fry propped up against it
11. Small raspberry popsicle - or - banana pudding (a single vanilla wafer with three banana slices and vanilla pudding)
12. A small cup of hot chocolate with a dollop of whipped cream and dash of chocolate syrup (or chocolate sprinkles) (this should be coffee, but I don't like coffee)
I did get a little too distracted about wanting to use foods I like to make this maximally funny - there's no crappy beer and I almost had one of the dishes be a banana chocolate chip pancake. And what's with the fabulous muffin when that should be a saltine cracker with a couple of goldfish crackers swimming nearby? And dessert should be two different varieties of Oreo (perhaps one covered in white chocolate and one with green or orange filling)--no, it should be a half a Twinkie, set up on end, with a drizzle of raspberry sauce on the side.