What Goes Well With Cattle?
Oct. 30th, 2007 08:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
livingdebTomorrow's Halloween. But my idea to play my boss's hippie mother telling embarrassing stories about his childhood was dashed when I learned that he also is dressing up as a longhorn.
So if I want to have a team costume I need to be something that goes with cattle. My first idea, matador, I am rejecting because I don't have the stuff. I was thinking about cowboy for a while, but that's kind of boring (in Texas), plus I would have to claim that my boots were getting re-soled (because I don't have any).
So then I thought, I know what goes good with cattle. Steak sauce.
But then I realized I don't have brown clothes, but I do have maroon clothes, so I'm going to be a bottle of barbecue sauce. I'll wear a white hat, with a label about not consuming if the seal is broken. (Because, you know, it's safer to break the bottle open before consuming the contents.)
I'll have some label on the front, talking about how this sauce is really great on chicken, tofu, and longhorns. On the back I'll have the ingredients list. There will definitely be coal dust and spider webs. (Less than 2%--for my non-US reader, we apparently have some tradition of separating out the ingredients that make up less than two percent of a product, as if having less than two percent of carcinogens or toxins or whatnot is okay.)
So if I want to have a team costume I need to be something that goes with cattle. My first idea, matador, I am rejecting because I don't have the stuff. I was thinking about cowboy for a while, but that's kind of boring (in Texas), plus I would have to claim that my boots were getting re-soled (because I don't have any).
So then I thought, I know what goes good with cattle. Steak sauce.
But then I realized I don't have brown clothes, but I do have maroon clothes, so I'm going to be a bottle of barbecue sauce. I'll wear a white hat, with a label about not consuming if the seal is broken. (Because, you know, it's safer to break the bottle open before consuming the contents.)
I'll have some label on the front, talking about how this sauce is really great on chicken, tofu, and longhorns. On the back I'll have the ingredients list. There will definitely be coal dust and spider webs. (Less than 2%--for my non-US reader, we apparently have some tradition of separating out the ingredients that make up less than two percent of a product, as if having less than two percent of carcinogens or toxins or whatnot is okay.)