All You Are Is Mean

I got inspired to write some new lyrics for Taylor Swift's song, "Mean," for all of us. Of course the song isn't long enough for me to get all the important bits in. (Compare to the original lyrics at the bottom.)

My New Lyrics

You, ending USAID
And the Paris Agreement.
You have undone years of work again.
Got us reeling from the impact.
You, with your extortionist tariffs,
Torture camps filled with migrant quotas.
You, pickin' on the weaker man.

Well, you can make up lies
To try to sound decent,
But you don't know what you don't know.

We'll be marching, writing letters to the papers
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
We'll be voting, watching late-night TV comics,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides
On the Epstein files and reducing the inflation.
You have claimed to be protecting us.
As if we didn't see the video.
They wave with their boat down, trying to get your help
No fentanyl from their home.
We just want democracy again.

I bet you felt privileged, then
Somebody stopped you cold.
You decided to MAGA up.
But you can't lead us down that road,
And you don't know what you don't know.

We'll be filming, whistle-blowing at the ICE raids
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
We'll be guarding people at the different bathrooms,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big, loud opinion
But nobody's listening.
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,
Mad and grumblin' on about conspiracies,
But all you are is mean.

All you are is mean.
And a liar, and pathetic.
And alone in life, and mean
And mean, and mean, and mean.

But we'll be watching, calling out your big ole gaslights
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Yeah, we'll have lawyers, rainbow flags, and Plan C mail-outs
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

Sign petitions, stand with all the low-paid workers,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Call out crimes of fraud and grift and defamation
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

Original Lyrics

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me.
You have knocked me off my feet again.
Got me feeling like I'm nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard,
Calling me out when I'm wounded.
You, pickin' on the weaker man.

Well, you can take me down
With just one single blow,
But you don't know what you don't know.

Someday, I'll be livin' in a big ole city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation.
You have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I don't already see them.
I walk with my head down, trying to block you out
'Cause I'll never impress you.
I just wanna feel okay again.

I bet you got pushed around.
Somebody made you cold.
But the cycle ends right now,
'Cause you can't lead me down that road
And you don't know what you don't know.

Someday, I'll be livin' in a big ole city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big, loud opinion
But nobody's listening.
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,
Drunk and grumblin' on about how I can't sing,
But all you are is mean.

All you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic
And alone in life, and mean
And mean, and mean, and mean

But someday, I'll be livin' in a big ole city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Yeah, someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday, I'll be livin' in a big ole city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me – Call out crimes of fraud and grift and defamation
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?