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Healthy Relationships
Nov. 2nd, 2015 10:08 pmDianne Hales' An Invitation To Health: Live It Now has a whole chapter on social health. I found this quote to be very interesting:
"Compared to straight couples, gay and lesbian couples use more affection and humor when they bring up a disagreement and remain more positive after a disagreement. They also display less belligerence, domineering, and fear with each other than straight couples do. When they argue, they are better able to sooth each other, so they show fewer signs of psychological arousal, such as an elevated heart rate or sweaty palms, than heterosexual couples." (p. 94)
I would not have guessed that. And now I am enjoying theorizing about why that is.
More affection and humor
I wonder if one reason same-sex couples show more affection and humor is that they are united against a common foe: homophobia.
I don't mind not sharing this trait. I even manage to get a fair amount of affection and humor anyway, even we don't really have any foes.
Less belligerence, domineering, and fear
I guess our culture has a long history of male dominance over women in marriage such that belligerence (male), domineering (male), and fear (female) fit those stereotypes. So maybe when you're in a same-sex couple, you are less likely to rely on these kinds of stereotypes (certainly it's not as clear who would get the male role and who would get the female role), so they might be more likely to have to make decisions based on what they're actually like instead of what society says someone of their gender, and their partner's gender, should be like.
Fortunately, I have not dated guys who are belligerent or domineering, so I think I escape this problem.
Better able to soothe each other
I'm wondering if they are better able to sooth each other because they are more similar in some ways. Same-sex couples are made of people with more similar kinds of hormone levels, body issues, and sex parts than opposite-sex couples. It has been shown that couples who are similar to each other on other traits tend to do better than couples that are opposites, so this makes some sense, too.
In sum, I'm glad to hear that same-sex couples have some advantages over opposite-sex couples (on average). It makes things just a tiny bit more fair.
Job hunting update
Target has politely let me know via e-mail that they are unable to offer me a position at this time. They did not need to interview me to make this decision.
Ugh, job hunting. Nevermind. Uncle! I'm done with that.
"Compared to straight couples, gay and lesbian couples use more affection and humor when they bring up a disagreement and remain more positive after a disagreement. They also display less belligerence, domineering, and fear with each other than straight couples do. When they argue, they are better able to sooth each other, so they show fewer signs of psychological arousal, such as an elevated heart rate or sweaty palms, than heterosexual couples." (p. 94)
I would not have guessed that. And now I am enjoying theorizing about why that is.
More affection and humor
I wonder if one reason same-sex couples show more affection and humor is that they are united against a common foe: homophobia.
I don't mind not sharing this trait. I even manage to get a fair amount of affection and humor anyway, even we don't really have any foes.
Less belligerence, domineering, and fear
I guess our culture has a long history of male dominance over women in marriage such that belligerence (male), domineering (male), and fear (female) fit those stereotypes. So maybe when you're in a same-sex couple, you are less likely to rely on these kinds of stereotypes (certainly it's not as clear who would get the male role and who would get the female role), so they might be more likely to have to make decisions based on what they're actually like instead of what society says someone of their gender, and their partner's gender, should be like.
Fortunately, I have not dated guys who are belligerent or domineering, so I think I escape this problem.
Better able to soothe each other
I'm wondering if they are better able to sooth each other because they are more similar in some ways. Same-sex couples are made of people with more similar kinds of hormone levels, body issues, and sex parts than opposite-sex couples. It has been shown that couples who are similar to each other on other traits tend to do better than couples that are opposites, so this makes some sense, too.
In sum, I'm glad to hear that same-sex couples have some advantages over opposite-sex couples (on average). It makes things just a tiny bit more fair.
Job hunting update
Target has politely let me know via e-mail that they are unable to offer me a position at this time. They did not need to interview me to make this decision.
Ugh, job hunting. Nevermind. Uncle! I'm done with that.