Aging Worries

Before having kids, there were three things my mom decided she wanted from her kids. One was that she didn't want us to be racist. The three of us are quite different from each other, but none of us grew up racist. She was so happy when my brother pointed out the boy whose mom insisted she meet us before he could come over, and he described the only black guy on the playground as the boy with the red shirt.

Another goal is she didn't want us to be the kind of kids who scream for things at the check-out counter at grocery stores. The kind who is so obnoxious that you give them the thing just to shut them up. If we had done this, she would have just left the store immediately without buying anything. I do recall that my sister once said, "Mom, I need some smash." But that was in a basically normal tone of voice and was in the aisle with the squash, not at the check-out counter, and she didn't throw a fit when she didn't get it. So Mom succeeded in this goal as well.

I don't recall the third thing, but I do recall that she succeeded there as well, too.

Of course, she says, there were a number of other things she should have thought about ahead of time that didn't turn out as well!

So I've decided to start thinking about what worries me about getting older and to figure out some strategies for dealing with those things.

Losing abilities

The biggest worry is that I will no longer be able to do some of the things I can do now. I recall mourning the loss of my ability to do flips (ugly ones, but flips nonetheless) in my twenties because I became too chicken. That ability is not even important or even very useful. What will I be like when I lose useful abilities? I don't want to become bitter and no fun if I actually still can do plenty of other things.

One obvious solution is to keep practicing the important things so that I don't lose those skills. Keep learning things and otherwise using my brain. Exercise. Reach for things on high shelves. Get up off the floor. That's great as far as it goes, but things do start breaking down as you age anyway. So another strategy is to keep fixing them (with medicine, physical therapy, surgery). And another strategy is to use helpful aids, even if they make me look old (cane, walker, wheelchair--and I'm already wearing glasses). Also, learn sign language.

Another idea is to look at what's most likely to break down and do the things I most want to do that require those abilities sooner rather than later. Are there places I want to hike? Books I want to read? Things I want to make? I think I'm pretty good at keeping up with things like this, actually.

But what if I become so decrepit I can't even drive? People who can't drive probably don't want to deal with buses either and might have trouble riding bikes. How do you get places? There may be some kind of bus for handicapped people. And I guess taxicabs. So you need money. I also read about someone who thinks New York City is perfect for old people because you can have anything delivered there. That's a rather pricy solution as well.

But what if I become too stupid and gullible to deal with my own finances? Yikes. I sure don't want anyone else dealing with them. Fortunately these days it's easier to automate things.

Looking old

If I live long enough, there will come the day when I look like just another old person instead of like myself. Yes, yes sunscreen. I'm not dying my hair, though (smelly, messy, expensive, possible stings). (Well, maybe I'll henna it once--red is so pretty.)

I may get into hats and/or scarves.

Getting boring

I don't want to be one of those people who just talks about my never-ending medical problems (and I am totally a person who talks about my medical problems--they are a part of me!). Or I knew one couple that talked only about restaurants and routes to places.

I think if I can just keep my mouth shut about boring things (and things I've already said to the people I'm talking with), I will always be trying to do other things as well that are of some interest to some people.

Running out of friends

There came a point in my Grandma Miller's life when she had outlived all her friends. Yes, she could make more friends, but there is a big difference between new friends and friends of sixty-plus years.

This is a real danger to me, too. Currently, I mostly hang around people my age, people ten years older, and people ten years younger. Well, I will be auditing classes and tutoring kids, so maybe all is not lost.

Running out of money

This could certainly happen. But the house is paid off. I will have a state pension big enough to cover all my basic expenses plus some extras--that's for life, but it might not keep up with inflation or might even be reduced at some point. (Similarly, Social Security.) I have a Roth IRA made of index funds--even though I've been maxing it out since it was invented, that turns out not to add up to much, but since I won't need it until my needs increase, it can grow (and plummet) as a safety net. I have a few I-bonds, dividend growth stocks, and speculative stocks as well.

I sometimes think my city might become too horrible (corrupt, hot, expensive) for me to want to live here anymore (or all my friends will get jobs with Google and move to California), but most other places I would like would cost more.

And I'm too poor to have long-term-care insurance. I may also have to figure out how marriage and joint financial accounts affect finances when one person gets sick enough to need all the money or their business goes down the tubes or something.

But mostly, I'm not too worried about this area. Admittedly because there's nothing more I'm willing to do in this area (besides learn new frugality skills).

Fixing up the house

I should maybe think about making my house more accessible while it's still fairly easy. Certainly keep working on getting rid of the clutter! (I've heard that you can get tax breaks for doing things like adding grab bars to your bathtub area--but not until you already need them, by which time you probably can't do it yourself anymore. Doh!)

Castle Pan Update

So I have finally used the castle-shaped pan I described before. I used a bundt cake recipe I had for a chocolate zucchini cake with orange zest and cinnamon in it. Actually I've been afraid of this recipe as well as the pan. The first time I made it, it was delicious and interesting. The second time it was oddly boring. But this time it came out delicious and interesting again. Yea!

Anyway, I ended up going with the Baker's Joy spray oil + flour. This is a lot more fun than regular spray oil because it puffs up.

Then I poured some of the batter in a cupcake pan so I wouldn't have too much in the castle pan. But it totally poured out all down the sides as it cooked anyway. Fortunately, I had taken the advice of setting the pan on a cookie sheet in the oven, so that was easy to clean up. And if I were going to err, I didn't want to err in the direction of not filling up the whole pan.

The batter that dripped into pools on the cookie sheet while cooking were crunchy and so delicious that I decided that this batter was also a good cookie "dough." Frankly, I like it even better as cookies than as cake. So that was an interesting thing to learn.

Then I waited the amount of time you're supposed to and flipped it out onto a cookie sheet. This worked perfectly! I could see all the details quite well.

Then I had to figure out how to get it to the beginning-of-summer party I was bringing it to. I put the pan back on the cake, flipped it again, and covered it with tin foil for transport. The cookie sheet seemed large to bring to the party (where there is always loads of food and barely enough room) so I took a plate that was almost bigger than the pan. Flipping the cake over onto that worked, too.

The cake got oohs and ahs. And compared to another cake made with a sand castle theme. Can you ever have too many sand castle cakes? Perhaps, but we did not.

After a while I cut into it because nobody wanted to. Still, not much got eaten. Fortunately, it saved well and I was able to finish it up myself in a series of afternoon snacks.

Bringing it home was messy; I had to clean the bag I brought it in.

The pan was basically easy to clean. Everything came right off, so long as you could get to it with a sponge. Which I could not. For the first time ever, I wanted one of those sprayer things for my sink. I let it soak.

Then I decided a spray bottle might work. But I couldn't find one in my house. I changed the water and let it soak some more.

Then I found a squirt bottle (like is sometimes used for ketchup) and tried that. It worked better than a sponge that couldn't reach but not well enough. But then I finished it up with a couple of Q-tips. (I had thought that was an original idea, but I see it mentioned in my original entry.) There were only a few spots I couldn't reach with my sponge, so it didn't take long to finish up.

And now it's clean and dry and put away.

So the biggest problem is that people don't want to eat it because it's too pretty. And the washing is not as fast as a regular cake pan. I think I will use it again sometimes, but this is not my new favorite answer to the question of what to bring to parties.

Thirty Phrases

"It has been proposed (by Tam) that to replace me with a robot, you would need only about thirty phrases. So I just need to figure out the Spanish for those thirty phrases and I'm good." - Robin

Robin has also said that Tam and Sally would joyfully provide these phrases. I know only one, a fairly recent development:
* "It's what I do."

Robin suggested a few other good choices:
* Where is the bathroom?
* Your stereo needs adjusting.

Please feel free to join in the fun.

I wonder what my phrases are. I probably say "Excuse me" and "Sorry" more than most people (I end up in crowds somehow). But then there's also "This is a good [name of ballroom dance] song" or simply, inserted into the middle of a conversation about something else: "[name of ballroom dance]."

Also, I often start replies with "Actually, ..."

Do you have any phrases you feel the robot of you should know?