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New Checking Account
Sep. 2nd, 2012 05:31 pmI don't need another checking account, but I opened one today anyway. See, there was a bribe. But it was with an evil bank that rhymes with mace. But it was $200 for keeping $1500 in there for 6 months. That's an annual interest rate of 6 2/3%. And supposedly I'm doing everything in power to retire ASAP.
Step 1: Read the fine print and write down what to do:
* There is a $12/month service fee unless I keep $1500 in there the whole time. (There are two other ways to remove the fee, but they are worse for me.)
* You have to open the right kind of checking account (the Total checking account).
* The bonus is considered interest and will be reported to the IRS.
* If you close the account less than 6 months later, they take back the $200.
Okay, I can deal with those. (There is other fine print, but only the above seemed dangerous to me.)
Step 2: Get the money. I transferred it from my online savings account to my credit union savings account and decided to write a check.
Step 3: Go to the branch near campus, wait through my entire lunch hour, and then leave. During my wait I noticed that one guy's only job was to manage us. First he said to sit down and that the wait would be very brief. Then he said someone was at lunch, but it should still not be a long wait. Once there were more than two people waiting, he asked us to sign up on a clipboard so that he could keep us straight. He seriously could not do any actual bank work--one guy just wanted to update his address--and he was a liar to boot.
However, during my wait, I found something that says that people with checking accounts get an extra 1/10% reward points on the kind of rewards credit card I have with them, plus 10(?) extra points per transaction. Very interesting. Maybe they will convince me to keep this account longer than 6 months after all. I don't get a lot of rewards, but I do make a fair number of transactions--the extra might add up to the mediocre interest I currently get from my online savings account.
Step 4: Go to the huge branch near my house, in Capitol Plaza, instead. The experience there was very different and shockingly pleasant.
First, the hostess not only had me sign in but also offered me coffee and cold water.
Then I had a very ordinary wait.
Then I was called up by Jose, my new personal banker. He had a Hispanic accent. And the sign-up sheet was in both English and Spanish. Basically, this branch recognizes that it is in a neighborhood with a lot of Hispanics in it, and they are ready for that. Awesome! Jose was able to communicate just fine with me as well.
He did ask all the reasons I was motivated to open an account with them, and handled it very well that I was interested only in the bribe. He did try to tell me about the many other services that would become available to me as a checking account owner. One of the odd ones he was proud of is that you can transfer money for free, even to other banks, and even to people without bank accounts--they'll get a check in the mail a few days later that does not have your account number on it. Wow, he is normally dealing with people with quite different financial needs than I have.
I also have access to a financial adviser. (Ugh, no, I'm my own financial adviser.) I get better CD rates, etc. I can get a $150 bonus if I also open a savings account with $15,000 in it. Their enhanced interest rates still suck though (1/4% for $15,000), so I declined that. But he did also mention the extra benefits for my credit card.
He didn't bat an eye when I said I didn't want to order any checks (and I still got 3 temporary ones anyway). But I do get a debit card. And I could choose between the regular designs or 4 Disney designs. I saw that Robin would pick the classic Mickey Mouse one. I went for the Cinderella castle one. I am now qualified for various Disney discounts, so I may well regret the decision to go with the pretty one (spam city?).
I wanted to confirm that the account would be considered to have the $1500 minimum the entire first month even though of course the check will not clear for a few days. He told me that we actually have 60 days before the fee gets charged. Shocking. I really expect them to exploit every possible loophole, not be nice.
The manager also came by to welcome me (snort), but she stayed only briefly, so that was good.
Maybe I'll think to review this decision in six months. It's a good idea, but I might not get around to it.
Quote of the Day - "Doubts? Questions?" - Jose asked me these several times throughout the process. I'm really pretty sure that first word was "Doubts?" If so, that's hilarious, and I like it.
Cake of the Day
This one is a small village:
Here is a close-up of the small building in the back:
It looks mostly beautiful to me, but also a little spooky or creepy. Too many "Series of Unfortunate Events" for me, probably.
Step 1: Read the fine print and write down what to do:
* There is a $12/month service fee unless I keep $1500 in there the whole time. (There are two other ways to remove the fee, but they are worse for me.)
* You have to open the right kind of checking account (the Total checking account).
* The bonus is considered interest and will be reported to the IRS.
* If you close the account less than 6 months later, they take back the $200.
Okay, I can deal with those. (There is other fine print, but only the above seemed dangerous to me.)
Step 2: Get the money. I transferred it from my online savings account to my credit union savings account and decided to write a check.
Step 3: Go to the branch near campus, wait through my entire lunch hour, and then leave. During my wait I noticed that one guy's only job was to manage us. First he said to sit down and that the wait would be very brief. Then he said someone was at lunch, but it should still not be a long wait. Once there were more than two people waiting, he asked us to sign up on a clipboard so that he could keep us straight. He seriously could not do any actual bank work--one guy just wanted to update his address--and he was a liar to boot.
However, during my wait, I found something that says that people with checking accounts get an extra 1/10% reward points on the kind of rewards credit card I have with them, plus 10(?) extra points per transaction. Very interesting. Maybe they will convince me to keep this account longer than 6 months after all. I don't get a lot of rewards, but I do make a fair number of transactions--the extra might add up to the mediocre interest I currently get from my online savings account.
Step 4: Go to the huge branch near my house, in Capitol Plaza, instead. The experience there was very different and shockingly pleasant.
First, the hostess not only had me sign in but also offered me coffee and cold water.
Then I had a very ordinary wait.
Then I was called up by Jose, my new personal banker. He had a Hispanic accent. And the sign-up sheet was in both English and Spanish. Basically, this branch recognizes that it is in a neighborhood with a lot of Hispanics in it, and they are ready for that. Awesome! Jose was able to communicate just fine with me as well.
He did ask all the reasons I was motivated to open an account with them, and handled it very well that I was interested only in the bribe. He did try to tell me about the many other services that would become available to me as a checking account owner. One of the odd ones he was proud of is that you can transfer money for free, even to other banks, and even to people without bank accounts--they'll get a check in the mail a few days later that does not have your account number on it. Wow, he is normally dealing with people with quite different financial needs than I have.
I also have access to a financial adviser. (Ugh, no, I'm my own financial adviser.) I get better CD rates, etc. I can get a $150 bonus if I also open a savings account with $15,000 in it. Their enhanced interest rates still suck though (1/4% for $15,000), so I declined that. But he did also mention the extra benefits for my credit card.
He didn't bat an eye when I said I didn't want to order any checks (and I still got 3 temporary ones anyway). But I do get a debit card. And I could choose between the regular designs or 4 Disney designs. I saw that Robin would pick the classic Mickey Mouse one. I went for the Cinderella castle one. I am now qualified for various Disney discounts, so I may well regret the decision to go with the pretty one (spam city?).
I wanted to confirm that the account would be considered to have the $1500 minimum the entire first month even though of course the check will not clear for a few days. He told me that we actually have 60 days before the fee gets charged. Shocking. I really expect them to exploit every possible loophole, not be nice.
The manager also came by to welcome me (snort), but she stayed only briefly, so that was good.
Maybe I'll think to review this decision in six months. It's a good idea, but I might not get around to it.
Quote of the Day - "Doubts? Questions?" - Jose asked me these several times throughout the process. I'm really pretty sure that first word was "Doubts?" If so, that's hilarious, and I like it.
Cake of the Day
This one is a small village:
Here is a close-up of the small building in the back:
It looks mostly beautiful to me, but also a little spooky or creepy. Too many "Series of Unfortunate Events" for me, probably.