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Making Up Stuff
Jul. 24th, 2005 08:44 pmToday Robin and I met Sally and Robert for brunch and a walk. We had fun making up explanations for things.
Why our waiter apologized for not showing us to our seats earlier (when we had not come to the door earlier) and apologized for the dirty menu (after we had spilled salsa on it): He apologizes for everything. You could probably stab him and he would apologize for dripping blood on you.
Why our waiter blamed getting stuck on the computer for not refilling our drinks and chip bowl sooner: He has gotten addicted to that new waitering video game. The manager recommended that the staff use this game to practice, but not on the clock! "But I'm up to seven tables!"
Why there is a cheap, faded American flag planted in a yard, falling over and touching the ground: The resident is patriotic but lazy.
Second explanation: The resident opposes patriotism.
Why there are so many matching cheap American flags in the neighborhood: Annoying real estate people stick them in people's yards; people feel that it is un-American to toss the flag in the trash.
Second explanation: Residents are trying to show that they are not the types of people who would display peace signs in their yards.
Why one house has a random-seeming number of shutters: The builders saw windows adjacent to the same corner as a single unit; shutters flanked both sides of this unit.
Why one house has Ford and Chevy symbols painted on the front of the garage: Mixed loyalties. Both a Ford and a Chevy are parked in the driveway.
Why the same house has a sign about Porsches on the side of the garage, when there is no Porsche anywhere to be seen: The Porsche is in the garage.
Why a two-digit number is painted on the curb: Someone tried painting half the house number on the curb before asking the owners whether they wanted this service. The owners refused to give in and pay. Unwisely the painter had chosen to paint the last two digits, so it was still enough information.
Why there is only part of a hummingbird feeder hanging from a rafter: The hummingbirds made off with the rest of it.
I wish I could remember more, like what was said about the yard with the broken marble slabs, diverse statuary, and many other items carefully arranged throughout the yard.
Why our waiter apologized for not showing us to our seats earlier (when we had not come to the door earlier) and apologized for the dirty menu (after we had spilled salsa on it): He apologizes for everything. You could probably stab him and he would apologize for dripping blood on you.
Why our waiter blamed getting stuck on the computer for not refilling our drinks and chip bowl sooner: He has gotten addicted to that new waitering video game. The manager recommended that the staff use this game to practice, but not on the clock! "But I'm up to seven tables!"
Why there is a cheap, faded American flag planted in a yard, falling over and touching the ground: The resident is patriotic but lazy.
Second explanation: The resident opposes patriotism.
Why there are so many matching cheap American flags in the neighborhood: Annoying real estate people stick them in people's yards; people feel that it is un-American to toss the flag in the trash.
Second explanation: Residents are trying to show that they are not the types of people who would display peace signs in their yards.
Why one house has a random-seeming number of shutters: The builders saw windows adjacent to the same corner as a single unit; shutters flanked both sides of this unit.
Why one house has Ford and Chevy symbols painted on the front of the garage: Mixed loyalties. Both a Ford and a Chevy are parked in the driveway.
Why the same house has a sign about Porsches on the side of the garage, when there is no Porsche anywhere to be seen: The Porsche is in the garage.
Why a two-digit number is painted on the curb: Someone tried painting half the house number on the curb before asking the owners whether they wanted this service. The owners refused to give in and pay. Unwisely the painter had chosen to paint the last two digits, so it was still enough information.
Why there is only part of a hummingbird feeder hanging from a rafter: The hummingbirds made off with the rest of it.
I wish I could remember more, like what was said about the yard with the broken marble slabs, diverse statuary, and many other items carefully arranged throughout the yard.