Jul. 20th, 2005

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I just read One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. I read several of these same kinds of books in high school where people are in some dreadful situation that's difficult to imagine, and you get to see what it's really like. For example, I learned from Stephen Crane's The Red Badge of Courage that it was really smoky in the battlefields of the Civil War. So basically, you were shooting blind; unless you could hear someone, your aim probably didn’t matter. I would never have guessed that.

This book chronicles a typical day in the life of a Soviet political prisoner during the Stalin years. Obviously, it's horrible, but that wasn't a surprise. What most interested me were the generalizations about how to survive. And what's sticking with me is how even in that situation, one can make a fair number of choices about what to do and how to respond.

And so I feel like in my fabulously luxurious life, with the mind-blowing number of alternatives available to me, I should be able to make better choices than I’m making now. Amazing choices! Even Ivan Denisovich could get plenty of exercise (of course), could always be looking for little ways to make things better for himself (without hurting others), could throw himself into his work when he was working, could let all manner of things roll off his back, and could really enjoy and appreciated his food. I could stand some improvement in these areas. I am already working on getting more exercise and throwing more of myself into my work.

At lunch today I tried appreciating my food more. I was surprised by how my mind wandered. Bizarrely, I often found myself planning out the next bite instead of focusing on the current bite. I had almost as much trouble focusing on lunch as I do clearing my mind when I'm fighting insomnia. (I enjoy having a mind full of thoughts.) But I never would have guessed that enjoying lunch would be so similar to meditation.

Ivan Denisovich decided he had to slow down and take his time with meals, regardless of what was going on around him, or he just wouldn’t get enough from them. That was how he maximized his satisfaction; if he just wolfed the food down, it would feel like he hadn't eaten at all. So I tried to see if I felt more satisfied at the end. I don’t think so. Oh well. I did feel more satisfied during the bites where I was paying more attention, though.

Yesterday a friend challenged me to join him in writing journal entries daily. The plan is to encourage each other to write more often daily. I would have written yesterday's entry anyway, but today's entry is here because of my new blog buddy.

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